How should I deal with competitive sister in law?

Question by Lisa: How should I deal with competitive sister in law?
My husband's sister is driving me and my hubby insane. Everything I or my husband does her and her husband does. She has the identical engagement ring as me, used the same wedding theme as us, we got married - 5 months later they get married, I got a new purse a few years ago, she got the exact same one, last year my husband bought me beautiful solitaire earrings and she ran out and bought CZ, and the list goes on. It sounds so petty - and it is - but its getting so old at this point and I am ready to burst. I really hit a breaking point at Christmas this year when we finally announced our pregnancy. So they had a baby 3 years ago, and we were very happy for them. My husband and I felt sick inside that we didn't have the "first born grandchild" being that he is nearly 5 years older, but we never put that on them or used it against them - a child is a gift. This is the hurtful part. My husband and I had a lot of issues getting pregnant and finally it happened after 2 1/2 years of TTC. We announced at X-mas our pregnancy and his sister says to us within seconds "oh, that's nice" with a huff and then her husband looks at us insanely and says "what do you expect us to say"? Geez, I don't expect you to say anything, but a simple congrats would've been nice. And to top it off, she says to me "yeah, we're probably going to have a child again soon too then" and of course everyone is excited for them and starts asking them questions.... noone even bothered to ask how far along we were or anything. And I would like to make the point that its okay, that's fine that they want to have another, but did it need to be said right after we just announced our pregnancy? Throughout her pregnancy and when her son was born - we were brushed to the side like we were strangers by his family. And just like before, now we feel like we and our child will be treated last once again, because they continue this pathetic need for attention. Once again - they steal the spot light. We've let them get away with so much and we've taken the high road long enough without saying a wod! We put on a smile and treat them respectfully to be the more mature adult - but I just can't take it anymore! I'm almost 5 months pregnant now and want to tell them how we feel so bad, but my husband insists we should just stop talking to them and treat them like the strangers they've treated us as for nearly 7 years. I just feel like I'm the only married woman going thru this and I don't know what to do or where to turn at this point. I'd appreciate any kind and non-judgemental advice given and what your thoughts are on them and this situation. What is their problem with being happy for others?!!


Best answer:

Answer by janged
Copying is the highest form of flattery. They obviously have not thoughts of their own,they just copy. You should continue to ignore them and just live your life the way you want. Don't tell them anything about what your planning to do or when your baby is due-just ignore them. You have chosen the higher road and I say good for you.

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